


Inside

by JustGchan



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Daydreaming, Other, Past Abuse, Real Life, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGchan/pseuds/JustGchan
Summary: Just read it if you want.I'm making this to have some sort of scape from what's going on in my life right now.WARNING: Cringey and stupidEsp/Eng writing
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Do as you want. I'm too tired to care.

_Lonely_

It's dumb to feel this lonely. 

All my life I have had people by my side but you know... 

At the same time I feel like there's no one actually there. 

Yeah, sound stupid. 

" _why can't you be happy with what you have? There's people that don't even have a bed!"_

_Yes I know, thanks._ No, I'm fine with what I have.

The problem is me.

_Esp_

_A todos mis amigos los hago alejarse y a los que no, tienden a hacerme sentir mal_. Realmen me cansa ser dependiente de lo que hagan los demás pero realmente no soy nadie. Solo soy un cascarón vacío creado para acompañar de alguna forma a las personas.

No tengo valor. 

~~i can't~~

The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that there's at least one person who is really interested in me. And of course, my comfort character.

I feel so disgusting in real life that when it comes to liking someone, I can't stop but falling for fictional characters. They can't see me. They can't hurt me. 

That's all for this morning. 

I can't believe I'm this pathetic. 


	2. Fuck

I feel like I make everybody around me upset or disgusted. My so called friends are going away and I feel so useless that I can't even ask them what is wrong. 

_Here a pathetic bitch saying hi_

I can't even. Even if I have good people around me I feel like they're getting bored and I don't blame it on them. It's my fault for being this sad and stupid all the time, it's almost a job. 

_Is this like a fanfiction or smthing_

_idk but kinda cringe man_

~~_NObody_~~ Is walking through the black light.

No shit.

How can I be this stupid. 

Weak, stupid, disgusting and easy to forget. 

Last night I was wondering what would happen if I slice my wrists. I was so sad but everytime I visualized my death the sadness goes away

Maybe it's a signal

Maybe it's time to do it

But how

I dont want to feel pain 

I-

I don't know if I really want to die but there's no other way

I mean  
I'm useless and have 0 chances in the future. 

The only way out is being dead and not to sound edgy or smthing but

it'll be better for everybody if i'm gone

I don't even know how to write correctly in english

like come on 

I should just sneak pills into my bedroom and when everybody's asleep just take them all 

I wish I could be a better person but I'm ... not

I'm cursed 

I don't know how to explain it but it is what it is.

That's all for today

I wish I could be better


	3. Imsorry

I'm so sorry  
I could help but to cut and keep cutting 

I know that no one will ever care about this or the person writing it, but I feel like I have no one to talk   
I don't trust my parents anymore and I feel like I'm just annoying to my friends even if they tell me the oposit 

I can't   
I just can't 

I want to die   
I want to go out of this house but I'm not even fucking 18 and a year is too much for me to wait 

I'm done with myself I just want to fucking die   
I'm a disappointment and no one will ever love me 

I could stop cutting   
My arm and legs are burning painfully and I just want to disappear 

My head hurts from silently crying and fuck  
It's funny how my mom surely hates me by now, having such a disappointment of a daughter... Poor woman   
I'm very sorry for her

I'm sorry mom for being such a waste of human being   
I'm sorry for not being a good daughter and make you proud   
I'm so sorry for not being dead yet... I'm so sorry


End file.
